We are sorry for the delay to this service.

We are sorry for the delay to this service; we are sorry your train is late! Did you expect to spend thousands of pounds a year and receive a service that’s great?? We are sorry for the delays to your journey, once more and yet again; In the meantime would you be happy to fill…

Sticking pins in my eyes

Across the last 8 days I have spent just over £2k to literally have someone stick pins in my eyes. Fitting way to finish a fortnight in which I have spent my days ranting and raving about narrow minded people, feeling like I’ve been hitting my head against a brick wall. Hey it’s Friday go…

The Great Sock Adventure of Life

Where do all the socks go? I tend not to come home with one sock often, in fact ever. If I look back, even on the most intoxicated evenings of my life, if socks featured in the attire I’m confident that they both returned home with me. Yes they may try to slip off and…

Happy New Year

Happy New Year !!!! Yes I know it’s the 1st Feb not the 1st Jan but for me today feels like the start of the NY. I woke up with a feeling of clarity and full of ideas. ( Not all good ones I might add, as you will see shortly). It’s not that I…

Boxing Day 2004

Nearly 13 years on and I still don’t trust the sea. I have never been a massive water person and always joked my worst way to go would be to drown. I never thought the closest brush I would have with death would actually be water. On holidays I still I lie on my sunbed…

A mobile stolen moment

She stood at the traffic lights. A podcast babbling in her ears, which she was half listening to. She gazed absent mindedly around at the surrounding chaos of rush hour commuter traffic on a Friday night. She glanced up at the lights, still red, these lights always seemed to take an age to change. As…

Wherefore art thou summer?

Standing on the platform, the wet wind blowing in my face. Seriously summer you’re an absolute disgrace!It all started well with a heatwave back in June, But alas we live in Britain and it was gone too soon.Around me I see people decked in scarves, jackets and boots.Grown men stand shivering in their thin grey…

Unfinished Business 

Yesterday I headed off at 6.30am on a flight out of Luton on a bit of “unfinished business” This involved walking boots, a trip to Glasgow and enough cereal / protein bars to sustain a small village’s nutritional needs for a month. The challenge, the National 3 Peaks.  The 3 highest peaks in the UK…

The Aftermath

It’s been a long, long day there’s a pounding in my head,  My body’s screaming tired, pleading for my bed. Around me there is chaos, washing and abandoned socks; A collection of stuffed animals, Badger, Bunny, Hippo, Fox. An online shop, appointments, bills needing to be paid. A “To Do” list that grows out of…

Looking in

I notice you when you’re drunk, partying with friends, I learn how your evening starts and how your evening ends.  I see you by the beach, looking great in a bikini, Jealous of your body, safe in the knowledge you”ll never see me.  I watch you in a restaurant, I study what you eat,  Drinking…

The pig that wasn’t meant to be big! 

Last week I read a great story in the Guardian about an unexpectedly large pig. If you want to read the original click here. If alternatively you’d like to read it rewritten in rhyme keep reading.  One day I decided to get us a pig,  It was supposed to stay small and never get big.  “A…

Commuter Arse

If you were expecting to read an ode on a pert, pretty behind; I'm afraid that's not exactly what I have in mind.  This is a tale that is not for the faint hearted. It's about my disgust when somebody farted. My Monday began on a rather packed train. It seems one fellow passenger was…