It felt high, much higher than it looked from the ground. He had butterflies; every time he looked down his thoughts scrambled. His agent had assured him there was adequate insurance in place and that all risk assessments had been completed but now he wished he’d checked the small print himself.
The pay did cater to the risk. It really was good money for a predominantly sitting job, plus the view was awesome. Perks to being lardy after all. The director had originally requested hard boiled. The initial actor had agreed but pulled out at the last minute, poached by another shoot allegedly. Some people will do anything for fame; Where’s the integrity? You can never go back from that, it changes you.
The crew were on a tea break. Why hoist me up here if they are not ready? He could see them chatting and laughing. Probably laughing at the fat guy who can’t use a ladder and needed a crane. He peered closer. Were they? No they can’t be. Yes they are! They were eating sausage and Egg McMuffins! So insulting.
He had been a stunt egg for quite some time, but there wasn’t a lot of demand. Very niche. Busiest time of year was Easter. If sensible that income could last nearly 6 months. Always meant Christmas was tough.
He considered the script, not so much a script actually as a set of directions. No words. A great fall? He needed clarification. Was this a great fall, like a spectacular fall? Did it require a somersault, a dive? Or was it just great height?
The soldiers were laughing now too, a couple were smirking. King’s men? What King? Hadn’t seen a King on set. More to the point King’s horses? The story was ridiculous, of course a King’s horse was not going to be instrumental in putting anything back together again. No opposable thumbs, well no fingers or hands. Hooves aren’t exactly delicate; do more damage then good. Who wrote this? Surprising that considering how farcical the whole story was it became such a classic.
Crap here goes.
“Wait I didn’t sign the . .. ”
“Someone call an ambulance!”