A group of geese can be called a flock gaggle or herd,
But there are many groups of animals called something rather more absurd.
Open suspicious packages cautiously, it may be a parcel of pigs.
A band of gorillas are touring, festivals and gigs.
I suspect a roll of armadillos might not be the lunch you chose.
Beware the siege of the bitterns! What on earth is one of those?
Don’t try to have a conversation amongst a chattering of chicks.
Beware of a prickle of porcupine, they have sharp little pricks.
Let’s hope a coalition of cheetahs, doesn’t win the next election;
Like a muddle of guinea pigs, they will surely lack direction.
Our country could be run instead by a parliament of owls,
With the effectiveness no doubt of a confusion of guinea fowl.
If we don’t want chaos, give a pandemonium of parrots a wide berth,
Up may rise a movement of moles, who knows what that may unearth.
We could of course plot their demise with a fall of lambs.
Otherwise we will have to face facts and lie in our bed of clams.
If you want to make a gesture, here’s my advice,
Present a bouquet of pheasants, that would be nice.
Or throw out a compliment, here’s one I overheard,
“You look as magnificent as, a loveliness of ladybirds.”
If jewellery is her preference, perhaps try a chain of bobolinks,
Or a fine string of ponies, would be better methinks.
Present your gift beautifully, wrapped in a pack of dogs,
Tie it with a ribbon, use a simple knot of frogs.
If the relationship progresses, and results in hats and frocks,
You could be wed before a congregation of crocs.
Honeymoons or holidays? Perhaps a journey of giraffes?
If you meet a cackle of hyenas, try not to make them laugh.
Perhaps pay attention to trip advisor advice,
Don’t find yourself neighbouring a loud mischief of mice.
If you are heading off camping, consider options please,
Sharing a caravan of camels may be a too tight squeeze.
Overindulge and like hippopotami you will feel the bloat.
Look out for the raft of auks, when on a lilo or a boat.
Stand out on the beach, be stylish and cool,
Channel a flamboyance of flamingos, when you strut around the pool.
Let’s hope the sun shines, that it’s not shadowed by a cloud of gnats;
Or that there’s no interruption, by a destruction of feral cats.
Reading on the beach? A kindle of kittens would be novel.
Careful with your spade, a cast of crabs could be rehearsing in a hovel.
Festivals your preference? Did I mention the gorillas have formed a band?
Watch for the ambush of tigers, they can be a crazy fan.
Or perhaps a rhumba of rattlesnakes is more to your taste,
But don’t go for a litter of bunnies that would be a waste.
A ballet of swans, if you fancy a dance act.
Muddy puddles of platypuses an unavoidable festival fact.
If you see a cartload of chimps acting like loons,
Give them a look as disapproving as the harsh gaze of the raccoons.
If you live in a dream world a blessing of unicorns might be what you seek;
Expect a reality check with a slap of jellyfish across your cheek.
Need a morning cuppa? Empty the Hawks out your kettle first;
Although a gulp of cormorants may better quench your thirst.
How about a crossing of zebras on a zebra crossing?
Or an intrusion of cockroaches while in the bathroom flossing.
If you think all this is crazy as I surely do,
Have a chat about it with an implausibility of gnus.
Because a shrewdness of apes, I’m sure no doubt would question,
Whether a troubling of goldfish, might make a new suggestion.
The wisdom of the wombats might need to be sought
An army of caterpillars can’t be bribed or bought.
Never ask a muddle of guinea pigs for direction or information
As for a flange of baboons, lets call them a congregation!
And when you look back, on all the bonkers fun you’ve had.
A memory of elephants wouldn’t be bad.