If you were expecting to read an ode on a pert, pretty behind;
I’m afraid that’s not exactly what I have in mind.
This is a tale that is not for the faint hearted.
It’s about my disgust when somebody farted.
My Monday began on a rather packed train.
It seems one fellow passenger was feeling the strain.
There was a bubbling need, deep inside his belly,
Something not very nice, and particularly smelly.
So he did the right thing and decided to wait,
But then let loose in the packed queue to the ticket gate!
I beg of you please we were all in a hurry,
No one needs to taste the evil of your Sunday night curry.
I don’t care for your discomfort, that it was too much to bear,
You should have waited till you were out in open air.
Do what you can, be a bit stronger.
Just please hold it in for a few minutes longer.
Use all your might to be a wind fighter,
Clench those buttocks a little bit tighter.
Seriously though enough is enough,
We shouldn’t have to walk through and breath in your guff.
There really is nothing so heinous,
As experiencing a gust from a stranger’s foul anus.
Did you think if you waited, we wouldn’t spot the offender?
By looking round aghast you stood out, the habitual pretender.
I did straw poll, I know that we’ve all been there;
The moment you step off the train into another’s arse air.
Your body starts to heave, your gut starts to wrench,
As you mouth and your nose consume another’s bum stench.
So no it wasn’t the way I wished my Monday to start,
With the taste in my mouth of a strangers vile fart!
So next time think twice before you let rip
Consider the passengers with whom you’ve just shared a trip.
To expel some things in packed spaces, is nothing but wrong.
Please think of others before you sing your arse song.
To prevent your fellow commuters getting the hump,
Don’t subject the masses to a terrible trump!