The pig that wasn’t meant to be big! 

Last week I read a great story in the Guardian about an unexpectedly large pig. If you want to read the original click here. If alternatively you’d like to read it rewritten in rhyme keep reading. 

One day I decided to get us a pig, 

It was supposed to stay small and never get big. 

“A Micro Pig”, said the girl on the phone, 

A welcome addition to our joint home.

Loving, easy to train, limited smell,

George Clooney, the Beckhams they had one as well. 

So Micro Pigs were the latest trend,

I couldn’t wait to have a small piggie friend. 

We already had dogs, cats a turtle and fish,

But to add to our family was my ultimate wish. 

She’d grow to the size of an adult cat.

My decision was made and that was that. 

In retrospect, it was an impulsive move.

My partner, categorically didn’t approve. 

He berated me for not asking, for being a fool 

My thoughts purely , “miniature pig, that sounds cool!”

I thought I’d convince him, since he was magician;

Surely a pig in the act would be a welcome addition. 

When we got her, she looked like hell, 

Sad, sunburnt, and pretty unwell.

But she fitted in quick, we didn’t look back. 

She followed the dogs, became part of the pack. 

Despite my partners opinion it didn’t take long,

For him to be smitten and admit he was wrong. 

But she started to grow, grow really big!

Esther our now, not so, miniature pig.

She was a happy, affectionate addition to our pad

Loving a snuggle on the sofa with her two Dads. 

But she soon outgrew the ability to sit on our laps. 

The vet informed us she’d been bred to fill bacon baps. 

We needed more space, so we started a farm, 

To ensure we could keep her, prevent her from harm. 

650 lbs is where her weight is now at. 

That’s a female polar bear not an adult cat!! 

But despite her size, she was not a mistake, 

Although perhaps we do feed her a bit too much cake! 

She’s loving, intelligent, enjoys a nice bath;

Understands what we say and makes us both laugh. 

Our journey with Esther has gone far,

She’s become a celebrity, a symbol, a social media star. 

So yes I accidentally bought an animal incredibly big

But I wouldn’t change her, we love Esther, our wonder pig. 

*Photo from where you can read more about her. 

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